Some funny things my 3-year old has said

The following list covers the time period from when my kid (D) was 2 and a half to 3 years and 1 month old:

CRAZY STUFF FROM D:

06/27/2011

Me: D. can you please stop talking and go to sleep now?
D: No, I cannot.
Me: why not? Just try.
D: No, my batteries are not all gone yet. A little later maybe...

Where does he get this stuff from?

06/22/2011

D playing catch with his dad throws the ball randomly.

Dad: Where are you throwing the ball? You need to throw it to me...

D: No, i throwing it to God, maybe he will catch it and play with me.

And then, he laughs knowing that he was making it up...

06/20/2011

Song: Govind jay jay, Gopaal jay jay

D: good bye to jay jay, good night to jay jay.

Me: it says Govind, another name for Krishna.

D: no it is saying good bye to Jay so that he goes to sleep.

05/23/2011

D: "When me was a baby, me eat, poop, pee, and sleep...again and again all the time, right mommy?"

Me: Yes, now you need to go to sleep.

D: because me already done errthing else?

Me: yes, good night.

Happy 3rd birthday dearest D! You've brought innocent humor back in our lives!

05/17/2011

"When I grow up, me want to hop into my own trash truck and drive to errbody's house and collect trash from big bins. Mommy, will you come with me?"

I was speechless...at least he has a plan B!!

03/15/2011

Me: It's bedtime. Talk inside your mind now.

D: Mommy not hear me if I talk inside.

Me: That's actually why I want you to talk inside your mind.

(D cocks his head to the side, finger on lip thinking)

A few seconds later ...

D: No, me think me do all talking outside mind only. Mommy sleep later.

02/22/2011

Me: D, wake me up when the alarm goes off.

D: ok mommy, me wake up you when alarm goes on. Beep beep

Me: ok, thank you

(a minute later)

D: mommy, hear the clock? Tick tock tick tock? Need no alarm. Hear clock and wake up.

(Sigh! And this was at night in the attempt to get him to sleep)

02/21/2011

D: why lights on shop people? It's not night time anymore. Turn on again after sun is gone.

01/31/2011

Dad: (showing flashcard) what number is this?

D: this one

Dad: yes, but what is it?

D: a number

Dad: but which number?

D: this one

Etc. Etc.

Darned kids & flashcards!!

12/31/2010

D: go Costco.

Dad : why?

D: Need new butt

Dad : Why? Costco doesn't sell butts.

D: Yes, they got butt at Costco. My itches.

Dad : No, you just need to go potty, not Costco.

D: OK, walmart. Need new butt!

So, with that - here's to hoping that Costco never sells butts! Happy New Year, y'all.

12/25/2010

D: Go away, Mom.

Me: That's very rude, D.

D: Okay. Please, go away!

(slightly edited version)

And the revenge so many want to take from me, begins!