Monday, June 27, 2011

Some funny things my 3-year old has said

The following list covers the time period from when my kid (D) was 2 and a half to 3 years and 1 month old:


Me: D. can you please stop talking and go to sleep now?
D: No, I cannot.
Me: why not? Just try.
D: No, my batteries are not all gone yet. A little later maybe...

Where does he get this stuff from?

D playing catch with his dad throws the ball randomly.
Dad: Where are you throwing the ball? You need to throw it to me...
D: No, i throwing it to God, maybe he will catch it and play with me.

And then, he laughs knowing that he was making it up...

Song: Govind jay jay, Gopaal jay jay
D: good bye to jay jay, good night to jay jay.
Me: it says Govind, another name for Krishna.
D: no it is saying good bye to Jay so that he goes to sleep.

D: "When me was a baby, me eat, poop, pee, and sleep...again and again all the time, right mommy?"
Me: Yes, now you need to go to sleep.
D: because me already done errthing else?
Me: yes, good night.
Happy 3rd birthday dearest D! You've brought innocent humor back in our lives!

"When I grow up, me want to hop into my own trash truck and drive to errbody's house and collect trash from big bins. Mommy, will you come with me?"
I was least he has a plan B!!

Me: It's bedtime. Talk inside your mind now.
D: Mommy not hear me if I talk inside.
Me: That's actually why I want you to talk inside your mind.
(D cocks his head to the side, finger on lip thinking)
A few seconds later ...
D: No, me think me do all talking outside mind only. Mommy sleep later.

Me: D, wake me up when the alarm goes off.
D: ok mommy, me wake up you when alarm goes on. Beep beep
Me: ok, thank you
(a minute later)
D: mommy, hear the clock? Tick tock tick tock? Need no alarm. Hear clock and wake up.
(Sigh! And this was at night in the attempt to get him to sleep)

D: why lights on shop people? It's not night time anymore. Turn on again after sun is gone.

Dad: (showing flashcard) what number is this?
D: this one
Dad: yes, but what is it?
D: a number
Dad: but which number?
D: this one
Etc. Etc.
Darned kids & flashcards!!

D: go Costco.
Dad : why?
D: Need new butt
Dad : Why? Costco doesn't sell butts.
D: Yes, they got butt at Costco. My itches.
Dad : No, you just need to go potty, not Costco.
D: OK, walmart. Need new butt!

So, with that - here's to hoping that Costco never sells butts! Happy New Year, y'all.

D: Go away, Mom.
Me: That's very rude, D.
D: Okay. Please, go away!
(slightly edited version)
And the revenge so many want to take from me, begins!

No comments:

Post a Comment