Some funny things my 3-year old has said

The following list covers the time period from when my kid (D) was 2 and a half to 3 years and 1 month old:

CRAZY STUFF FROM D:

06/27/2011

Me: D. can you please stop talking and go to sleep now?
D: No, I cannot.
Me: why not? Just try.
D: No, my batteries are not all gone yet. A little later maybe...

Where does he get this stuff from?

06/22/2011

D playing catch with his dad throws the ball randomly.

Dad: Where are you throwing the ball? You need to throw it to me...

D: No, i throwing it to God, maybe he will catch it and play with me.

And then, he laughs knowing that he was making it up...

06/20/2011

Song: Govind jay jay, Gopaal jay jay

D: good bye to jay jay, good night to jay jay.

Me: it says Govind, another name for Krishna.

D: no it is saying good bye to Jay so that he goes to sleep.

05/23/2011

D: "When me was a baby, me eat, poop, pee, and sleep...again and again all the time, right mommy?"

Me: Yes, now you need to go to sleep.

D: because me already done errthing else?

Me: yes, good night.

Happy 3rd birthday dearest D! You've brought innocent humor back in our lives!

05/17/2011

"When I grow up, me want to hop into my own trash truck and drive to errbody's house and collect trash from big bins. Mommy, will you come with me?"

I was speechless...at least he has a plan B!!

03/15/2011

Me: It's bedtime. Talk inside your mind now.

D: Mommy not hear me if I talk inside.

Me: That's actually why I want you to talk inside your mind.

(D cocks his head to the side, finger on lip thinking)

A few seconds later ...

D: No, me think me do all talking outside mind only. Mommy sleep later.

02/22/2011

Me: D, wake me up when the alarm goes off.

D: ok mommy, me wake up you when alarm goes on. Beep beep

Me: ok, thank you

(a minute later)

D: mommy, hear the clock? Tick tock tick tock? Need no alarm. Hear clock and wake up.

(Sigh! And this was at night in the attempt to get him to sleep)

02/21/2011

D: why lights on shop people? It's not night time anymore. Turn on again after sun is gone.

01/31/2011

Dad: (showing flashcard) what number is this?

D: this one

Dad: yes, but what is it?

D: a number

Dad: but which number?

D: this one

Etc. Etc.

Darned kids & flashcards!!

12/31/2010

D: go Costco.

Dad : why?

D: Need new butt

Dad : Why? Costco doesn't sell butts.

D: Yes, they got butt at Costco. My itches.

Dad : No, you just need to go potty, not Costco.

D: OK, walmart. Need new butt!

So, with that - here's to hoping that Costco never sells butts! Happy New Year, y'all.

12/25/2010

D: Go away, Mom.

Me: That's very rude, D.

D: Okay. Please, go away!

(slightly edited version)

And the revenge so many want to take from me, begins!

Mother's Day Couplet

Just found this:

You've frustrated her to a point where she cannot even scold you any more,
You've stunned her to a point where no words would complete her thoughts,
You've moved her to a point where her tears took over her smiles,
And yet she's loved you to a point that nobody else on Earth ever did or will.
Wish all mothers a Happy Mother's Day, especially your own today!

Father's Day couplet

We have fought with him, & at times we have been mad,
He has been loving & forgiving even when we're bad.
Everything that we could do to hurt him we've probably done,
And yet through it all, he's stood by us, second to none.
He's the first man we have have learned to love,
He's treated us with the tender care one gives a dove.
Let's recognize the man who's meant so much
Father's day is after all another day as such!

The kindergarten graduation poem I wrote...

Graduating Class of 2011
Pre-School Class at Morning Star Montessori

In a land full of sunshine
That seems so far away,
You will find an older you,
Who turns around to say.

"Smile a smile all the time,
And hug a friend today,
When you are here where I am now
You will remember this day.

"All the teachers that loved you
And family members too,
Are wishing you the best of luck
Today and forever,
For everything you ever can, will, or want to do!"

A poem I have to write...

The Unborn Female!
Female foeticide in India

I am talking to you, as a girl not of this Earth,
You see my parents killed me well before birth.
If one child is all they could afford to keep,
Perhaps they should have thought it through before,
And not put me in a permanent sleep!

A culture that claims that power and energy are female,
Surely they can see the error in choosing only male!
"A son will support us when we are old."
When I plead to ask the reason for my death,
Carelessly and callously, that's what I am told.

Look around you, people and tell me what you see,
A woman can't do much, is now history.
O mother, you are educated and informed,
How can you not see?
Getting rid of a miniature-you is a big blasphemy!

Yes, I am angry, at never having a fair shot,
The minute you found out my gender, rejection is all I got.
Did you stop to think before you aborted me,
That I was completely helpless and dependent,
And alive with all my limbs and heart and brain, you see?

"It's just a fetus that will feel nothing," you kept chanting,
I was a full 19 weeks old and could hear you canting.
When you went to the doctor to get the deed done,
I was fighting for my life and wondering
"Would she be doing this, if I was a son?"

I write this today to let the world know,
Us unborn daughters have a desire to show,
The unfairness with which we were treated.
So that shameless murderers do not go unpunished
Just because we have been muted.

Even animals in the wild realize it's best,
To let nature determine what is good for the rest,
Males and females born in equal proportion,
Is the only way to sustain the population!

If I could have only one wish that I could ask for
No, it would not be to be born anymore,
I wish a wish with all my heart and soul,
May such murderers never have another child,
Let my death weigh heavily on their soul!